Frankie the Farmer

A digital illustration of Frankie the Cat dressed as a farmer

“And it’s an long walk to town with scratched out eyes.”

Last week I published a picture of Frankie that could be interpreted to suggest that he is greedy and demanding. Frankie has now seen this and he has let me know (mostly through his claws) that he found my depiction of him to be deeply upsetting and unfair.

I sincerely regret publishing the image and unreservedly apologise to Frankie and all of the animals at the farm for any harm I may have caused.

I hope this new depiction of him as an overbearing, power-hungry farmyard dictator will go some way to reparing the unintentional damage to his public image.

Illustration: Angry Hungry Frankie

A digital illustration of Frankie the cat.

We’re currently looking after three cats at our housesit in Andalucia, Spain.

It doesn’t matter how much you feed them, the moment they stop eating they’ll be around your feet, mewling for more.

Short Story #20: January, 2018

29th January 2018

This snow-covered countryside has never looked so sinister.

Tiny icicles hang from the bare tree limbs, glinting like rows of teeth in the shadows. Patches of red lie scattered across the whitened ground, a grotesque dotted blanket over a wretched planet. Sometimes the bodies of animals—rabbits, sheep and, once, a deer—claim ownership of these claret-coloured spots.

I can get used to the sight and smell of the rotting flesh of animals, but not that of humans. The revulsion is the same every time: my gut feels like it’s being pummelled by a heavyweight boxer and I gag sharply, desperate to be anywhere else, to not be a witness to the devastation. If there is a body on the floor, it means that there is not enough of it left to rise—mauled beyond all recognition, limbs scattered, heads destroyed. These deaths are not peaceful; never do they invoke the comforting image of eternal sleep.

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Short Story #19: War

Private Brown stepped off the shuttle, unclipped his face mask and wiped his brow with the back of his hand, shifting his heavy helmet backwards in the process. He took in a deep gulp of the cool mountain air which tasted impossibly clean and fresh after a day breathing through the mask’s chemical filtration.

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Short Story #18: Desperation

Jeffery Jenkins turned his silver BMW into the gravel driveway, switched off the engine, and sighed.

Streetlights hadn’t yet been installed on the freshly laid brick road that led to his house and the moon was new so as he killed the car’s headlights he was plunged into an oily darkness.

He sat in the soft leather seats and stared at the house—no longer a home—that gradually came into focus as his eyes adjusted. His was part of a sprawling new development and the only one currently occupied on the long cul-de-sac. It stood detached and alone, a monstrous square visage, screaming back his loneliness at him.

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